The more I work with parents as well as parent my own children I have come to the revelation that parenting is not a science but rather an art. You see in science, chemistry specifically, you can use a certain formula and get the exact same outcome every time. You can control the input and outcome of the scientific process. But as a parent you can "pour in" the same amount of love, discipline, and morals into each one of your children and get different outcomes.
Each child as God's own unique creation has their own gifts, talents, and personalities that are unlike those of even their closest relatives. In this sense our children are like works of art. God has provided us a very precious "canvas" in our children. As parents we are the "medium". But unlike science we cannot control how the canvas receives the medium.
For example oil will be received much differently on burlap than it will on glass, but the outcome is equally as beautiful in its own way! The same with our children. The scientist views same process-different outcome as a failure or mistake. The artist views same process-different outcome as an extension of their talent.
So instead of asking "why can't he/she be more like their brother or sister"? or "they were raised in the same home, why did they come out so different". We should view parenting as our God given opportunity to compose priceless works of art, trusting the "Master Craftsman" to preserve the art as well as the artist!
by Maisha Florance, M.A. Registered Marriage and Family Therapist Intern with Turning Point Counseling
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