FACTS AND FALLACIES OF INTIMACY: PART 5 — CAN I DEPEND ON YOU? YOU PROMISED...AT OUR WEDDING9/10/2014  FALLACY
My mate should always be there for me, to help me meet all my needs. That’s why we got married – to be help-mates. FACT You married a human being; these types are at times unpredictable and unhelpful. Yet, with the proper expectations your marriage can be a very enjoyable experience. Your mate can be a source of great strength, but never the source of your strength.
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 FALLACY
My mate should understand and empathize with most everything that is important to me. If they really love me, this shouldn’t be a problem. The longer we are married the less we will have to explain things to each other. FACT As terribly inconvenient as it is, the fact of the matter is that your mate cannot read your mind. What is obvious to you is not always obvious to them – even if you have been married a long time.  FALLACY
If I let my mate know everything I’ve done and everything I think, it will always lead to rejection. FACT In most cases, your spouse already has a very good idea of who you are and your history. You aren’t as good an actor or actress as you think. There are some exceptions to this very tricky issue of "to share or not to share" in marriage.  FALLACY
Everything that goes wrong in our marriage is ALL your fault (or – ALL my fault). FACT When things go wrong in our marriage, there are times I am responsible for the problem and times you are. Frequently, we both have some contribution to the problems that we face. We both share some responsibility in working together to solve most of the problems we face.  FALLACY
If I become emotionally, spiritually and romantically involved in a courting relationship, or in marriage - it will always lead to me losing myself and becoming someone I don’t really want to be. I will have to live a false life. FACT Healthy dating relationships and healthy marriages enhance the person you were created to be. These relationships will champion your causes and provide support for your life dreams.  Love is more than an emotion. Love is an action. With divorce rates over 30 to 40 percent at present, it is clear that many misunderstand the way in which we as persons learn to love. Jesus stated that we are to love our enemies. It is easy for someone to love those that love us. But what do we do when we are faced with those who choose at times to not love us. When they downright break their promises to us. - See John's video at the end of this blog.
 Dr. Peter Robbins, Ph.D.
How long, Lord, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, “Violence!” but you do not save? Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrongdoing? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds. - Habakkuk 1:2-3 Scripture as a Weapon In I Corinthians 11:3 we are told...  by Tiffany Knowlton, M.A., LMFT, Therapist at Turning Point Counseling
Every day, when you wake up, you might choose what you're going to wear for the day. But, the truth is, you're already wearing so much that you may not be aware of. Why Not Intentionally Clothe Ourselves with Things that Christ Wants for our Lives and do Away with What He Doesn't Want? Ephesians 4:21–24 says, " to put off your old self, which is ... corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."  by Frances J. Harvey, Director of Operations
Turning Point Counseling HOLY WEEK What is it and why do we celebrate? The term “Holy Week” - in Latin words: Hebdomas Sancta or Hebdomas Maior, means "Greater Week" – and INDEED IT WAS – and is – A GREAT WEEK! Let’s Look at Jesus’ Life and the Events of the Week Before Easter...  by Timothy Schlensker, M.A. Registered Marriage and Family Intern
with Turning Point Counseling What Will You Be Doing for Your Spouse on Valentine’s Day? Yes, yes, many treat this day like several other Hallmark Holidays that have been invented to encourage a culture of consumerism and cause competition in marriages. But on the other hand, when it comes to our spouse, there is nothing that God wants us to show more of than LOVE. John 15:12 “This is my commandment: that you love one another, just as I have loved you.” |
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