While not to depreciate the importance and value of marriage and family, if we look at it like a game, let's say Monopoly, then if everyone plays by the same rules, we can enjoy the game. If everyone comes to "play" marriage and family with a different sets of rules then all we'll do is argue and fight.
The following 7 aspects of family life need a common understanding about how we'll play each of these areas. Over 80% of marital and family discord fall into these 7 elements.
Dr. Peter Robbins provides solutions to each of these areas so that the "game" is fair and enjoyable.
FREE SURVEY: Where do you need a new set of rules?
DOWNLOAD The 7 Pillars of Family Life Survey
How are we spending our time together as a couple, family, and individually? Is it fair and reasonable and does it build our marriage? Make sure time for your marriage comes first over other demands such as work, school, children, hobbies, and extended family.
SOLUTION: A family calendar
Consider using Google Calendar as a way to share a family calendar.
How do we share the space and stuff of our home? Is it fair and reasonable? Is it clear? How do we share our private and public space and stuff?
SOLUTION: A Family Policy on Sharing Space and Stuff
Who controls our money? Husband? Wife? Budget? Do we have a comprehensive budget (Cash Management Plan) [TurningPointStewardship.com]? Are we keeping it updated and use it regularly? This is our financial “gas gauge.” Do we have enough “fuel” to achieve our financial goals? How do we know this?
SOLUTION: A Cash Management Plan
See Dr. Robbins seminar on
Sound Financial Management
ow do we care for and disciple our children? What are the roles of a father and a mother? Who do we allow to care for and disciple our children?
SOLUTION: A Family Policy on Parenting
Also see Dr. Robbins'
7 Week Seminar on
Who Is In the Driver's Seat
How do we have relationships with our God, each other, our children, our extended family, friends [same sex and opposite sex], and church?
SOLUTION: A Family Policy on Relationships
Things need to happen at home to keep the home running smoothly and fairly. Who does what, when, and how often? Is it clear? Is it fair? Does it involve everyone? The list involves Daily, Weekly, Every Other Week, Monthly, and Every-so-often chores.
SOLUTION: A Family Chores List
Agreeing on frequency, “What?” and “How?” are uncomfortable areas of discussion for most couples. Couples often avoid having the talk and hurt feeling and frustration result.
SOLUTION: Having "The Talk” in a safe environment seeking a win-win outcome. If you need help, get it.