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How to Overcome Depression

By Laura Depp, M.S. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
Forward by Frances J. Harvey

If you were with us last month, you’ll recall we began a three part series and started with the subject of “Depression.” TPC Counselor, Laura Depp, M.S. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, provided us with a very practical, yet effect article on how to deal with depression. (If you missed that issue, you can contact us at email us - newsletter@turningpointcounseling.org and request copy of the August issue and to be added to our email list).

This month, we continue our series with the subject of “Anxiety”. This is one of Laura’s focus areas of counseling and again she brings us not only practical and effective tools to handle anxiety, but brings us to the Word sharing what God has to say about our struggle with anxiety. Don’t let Satan keep you locked in the lies of his deception! Start by reading this article and see if what Laura reveals seems familiar to you. If it does, get help! Laura’s offices are in the Pasadena, Alhambra and Valencia areas and if you would like to begin your healing process call 800-998-6329 today! You can also visit our website at
www.TurningPointCounseling.org and find one of our locations convenient for you if Laura is not in your area. We have 30 locations in the Southern California area.
Next month we will continue this series and cover the area of “Stress”! Don’t miss out on what God’s Word shares about stress. There is NOTHING that is impossible to overcome when you seek the Word and God’s will for YOU!
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;” Phil 4:6

ANXIETY! by Laura Depp, M.S. Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

“I just can’t seem to shut off my worrying.”

The young woman sitting in front of me was intelligent and attractive, with a successful career, a committed relationship, and a deep faith in God. But daily life felt like a nightmare, thanks to anxiety. In her life, everything was questioned. Everything was in doubt. Every word of her significant other was analyzed, picked apart. At times she would lash out at him, not because of anything he had done, but because of a scenario she had played out in her mind of what he might do. Any correction at work became an almost paralyzing fear of losing her job. She lived in almost constant uncertainty and dread. There were days when it was so bad, she couldn’t even make it to work.

Anxiety. It torments those who suffer from it—taunting them with the “what if’s”. “What if I say something stupid and everyone thinks I’m incompetent?” “What if I say the wrong thing again and this time he finally leaves me?” “What if I can’t do this job and I end up a failure?” In addition, most Christians who struggle with anxiety feel an incredible sense of guilt, feeling that their inability to control their worry is a sign of weak faith. “If I could just trust Him…..”

Despite anxiety’s crippling effects, there is little accurate information that is commonly known by the public and the church. Even those who suffer from anxiety often don’t recognize what it is. Untreated anxiety can often lead to depression, further complicating matters.

SO WHAT DOES ANXIETY LOOK LIKE?

One common form is Generalized Anxiety Disorder. People with this condition find themselves worrying most days about a variety of different things over the course of months to years. They feel like the worry is out of control and can’t be easily stopped. They may experience restlessness, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, irritability, muscle tension, and trouble sleeping.

Often these people will also experience low self-esteem, have difficulty knowing themselves well, struggle with perfectionism, and/or isolate from relationships out of a fear of being judged or exposed.

WHERE DOES ANXIETY COME FROM?

When we perceive an event or situation as threatening, our brain releases adrenalin and other hormones, throwing our bodies into a fight-or-flight mode. Our body gets prepared to either fight the threat or run by pumping blood to our extremities. The problem is that most of our daily anxiety-producing situations can’t be resolved through fighting or running. Worse yet, when our body responds this way, our mind switches out of the higher functioning area of the brain, where we can reason well and make good decisions, and we suddenly find we are taken over by the anxious thoughts and responding unwisely.

WHAT CAN I DO TO MANAGE MY ANXIETY?

The good news is that there are some very practical things that can be done to change this. Psalm 34:4 says, “I sought the Lord, and He answered me, He delivered me from all my fears.” Through prayer, seeking wise counsel, and following these steps, relief can be found.

Learn to recognize when you’re feeling anxious. Become aware of what goes on in your body when you’re anxious. Does your heart start racing? Do you have difficulty catching your breath? Do your fingers get tingly? Maybe your face gets red or hot? You might experience “butterflies” in your stomach or nausea. Notice what the early physical signs of feeling anxious are. Visit your doctor to rule out any physical causes of these symptoms. If none can be found, these very likely may be signs of anxiety.
Mark 6:31 "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." Experience rest - practicing deep breathing and other forms of relaxing exercises. Breathe in through your nose, hold for a count of 4, and then breathe out through your mouth. Work on slowing down your breathing. Do these exercises daily for 15-30 minutes. Utilize a picture of a place that feels safe and relaxing to you while doing the breathing. Later, when anxious feelings come, refocus on this relaxing image while practicing the breathing until you begin to feel more relaxed. Invite God and His peace into this process with you.
Romans 12:2 “…be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Recognize the power of your thoughts and how they can trigger anxiety. Remember, anxiety occurs when we perceive a circumstance as threatening. It is our perception that begins the anxiety spiral. But we can change these thoughts. Begin to keep a thought record. When you are feeling anxious, ask yourself, “What am I thinking that is bringing about the anxious feeling?” Record that thought. Often these thoughts are exaggerations or lies. Research shows that those who suffer from anxiety see a threatening situation where there isn’t one and narrowly focus their attention on that threat. Examine the thought to see if it reflects black-and-white thinking, mind reading, or some other unhelpful way of viewing things. Try to see if you can replace the anxiety-provoking thoughts with something more positive and helpful. For example, if you are feeling anxious about your husband coming home late and begin to think about all the horrible things that might have happened, refocus your thoughts on the belief that he will be home soon. Therapy can help you to identify where these negative thoughts come from, the mistaken beliefs that lie underneath them, and how to replace the negative thoughts.

Challenging and changing your thoughts is a battle, but it is winnable one. II Corinthians 10:5, “…take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” If this is God’s will for us, He will provide the strength and ability to follow through.

Matt 6:26 “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Practice staying present focused. Anxiety is seldom about what is happening at a given moment. It is almost always about anticipated fear in the future.

Often there is an underlying belief if you ask the question “What if…”, somehow you can prepare for any potential disaster or even keep the disaster from happening. This is untrue. You need to recognize thinking this way will hurt you instead of help you. We can’t prevent bad things from happening by worrying about them. Instead, we need to trust that God will not give us more than we can handle and believe by faith that if something bad happens, He will give us the strength and the means to get through it. (I Cor. 10:13) God often uses the difficulties of our lives to draw us closer to Him and to refine and perfect our character. Instead of trying to avoid negative events, look for how God may be at work in them and how He can redeem those events to bless you and help you grow!

One way to practice staying present focused is to utilize thought-stopping. As soon as you realize you are following an anxiety-provoking thought, say, “Stop!” loudly, count backwards from 5 as you take a deep, calming breath, and then purposely switch your thoughts to focus on something else in the moment. (Remember II Cor. 10:5)

Final tips: Like most things, exercise can do wonders for dealing with anxiety. It is also imperative to avoid caffeine and alcohol. Take practical steps to reduce ongoing stress, which adds to feelings of anxiety by pumping more adrenalin into your system. Seek the support of a trained professional who can walk with you through these steps and provide support along the way.

Finally, remain hopeful. I Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” We have a God who is good, whose love for you is unshakable. He has provided a way out. Take the courageous step to pursue it.

Laura Depp, M.S. Licensed MFT
Alhambra
Pasadena
Valencia